PTSD
by MKAmericanhero
Summary: Just my musings on Paige clearly dealing with PTSD, one shot.


**Ok so they finally gave one of the PTSD after almost being killed, too bad for Paige. I never really trust them to really explore any of these plot lines so I decided to do it myself. This is more than likely going to remain a one shot and it was just something that I came up with in my head so love it or hate it, it is what it is.**

Long weekends were a rare treat in Rosewood and whenever they happened the girls tried to enjoy them for all they were worth. This four day weekend came about because of the teachers at school having an in-service that following Monday. Ashley Marin had offered to let the girls stay at her house considering that she and Ella were the only ones not busy that weekend. Ella had the weekend off leading up to the in-service and she and Ashley had made some plans to grab some coffee and maybe grab lunch, but other than that, one or both of them would always be around to be with the girls.

Friday night had been uneventful: the girls had dragged Ashley to a movie they all wanted to go see and then they returned to the house for the night. Usually their slumber parties involved just the four of them, but this one was different as Paige was going to be spending it with them. Ever since what happened in the woods Emily felt uneasy being away from Paige for an extended period of time. Paige had just started seeing a therapist who focused her practice on helping victims of trauma and assault, things that neither girl was a stranger to. Emily and Paige weren't surprised when the woman diagnosed Paige with PTSD, but they agreed that for now that would stay between the two of them. Emily started bringing Paige to more things that the girls would do together and no one seemed to mind, but none of them dared ask why either. The answer to that question came on that Saturday morning when only a few people were awake in the Marin house.

Ashley was downstairs cooking breakfast and Ella had swung by a few minutes prior and was sitting in the kitchen sipping on coffee and making plans with Ashley for what they would do later that afternoon while the girls were at the mall. The girls were still asleep upstairs in Hanna's room, all except for Emily who had woken up early and gone for a run. Ashley was about to call the girls down to breakfast when Spencer came running downstairs while trying to force her arms into a hoodie. She grabbed her bag from the living room and started frantically searching for her car keys while both mothers looked on in utter confusion and with a look of concern on both their faces.

"Spencer…"

"Found 'em." Spencer stuffed her keys in her pocket and started putting on her shoes, all the while ignoring her best friends' mothers.

"Spencer, what is happening, where are you going in such a rush?"

"Gotta find Emily."

"What, why is she ok?"

"Probably, but Paige isn't. I'll be back in ten, I know where Emily runs." Spencer ran out the door without and further explanation. When the door slammed shut behind Spencer, Ashley started to walk up the stairs and Ella followed close behind her. Aria and Hanna were both standing in the hallway still dressed in the clothes that they had slept in. Aria was knocking on the bathroom door and trying to talk to Paige through the door.

"Paige, Spencer went to go get Emily, but we could help you out if you opened the door."

"I want to wait for Emily. I'm fine, really I just want to talk to Emily." They all heard the words I'm fine, but none of them believed them. Paige was trying not to give away that she was terrified and that she in the throws of a panic attack. She had only been in therapy for a few weeks and the flashbacks were still there and so were the nightmares and fear of being too far from familiar places. Paige hated panic attacks, then again most people do; the feeling of not being able to breathe is enough to scare anyone. Usually she was around Emily and could use some of the techniques she had been learning in therapy, but when she woke up this morning it was because of a nightmare and those were harder to deal with.

Aria and Hanna looked at each other and then over to their mothers. Neither woman knew what was going on or why Paige was held up in the bathroom, but they didn't have to wait for very long to find out because they heard car doors closing outside and they assumed that Spencer had in fact found Emily. The front door opened and shut quickly and rapid footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs. Emily got to the top of the stairs out of breath, but she saw the bathroom door shut and looked at Aria for an explanation.

"Spencer told me what happened, but how long has she been in there?" Emily asked as she tried to catch her breath.

"About 10 minutes, Spencer went to get you as soon as she locked herself in there. She won't let any one else in, just keeps asking for you." Aria took a step back from the door to allow Emily to get closer. Emily knocked on the door, "Paige, baby open the door." Without saying a word Paige unlocked and opened the door allowing Emily to step in and close the door behind her. Before Emily even asked what had sparked this panic attack she grabbed the two razors from that were sitting on the edge of the tub along with the scissors that were in the medicine cabinet and without opening the door the whole way she held them out calling for Spencer. Spencer grabbed the items in Emily hands, "please go put these in the other bathroom and don't ask me why." Emily shut the door quickly, once again leaving everyone in a state of confusion on the other side. With the door finally closed again she sat down on the floor next to Paige who was siting with her back to the bathtub.

"You didn't have to get rid of the sharp things, I wasn't going to do anything."

"I know, but you say that when you are having panic attacks that sharp things make you nervous." Paige leaned against Emily's shoulder one she was completely on the ground and Emily wrapped her arm around her girlfriend.

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"Same one?"

"Same one. I just woke up feeling like I couldn't breathe and like I had to find you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I wasn't thinking."

"You shouldn't have to baby sit your girlfriend, I'm sorry."

"Hey, the doctor told you that you don't have to apologize for feeling something, emotions are good, they make us human."

"I thought I was doing better." Emily kissed the top of Paige's head and kept trying to get her to take deep breaths in an effort to bring her out of her panicked state.

"You are doing better. You ran somewhere where you felt safe instead of running out of the house. You were brave enough to swallow your pride and have Spencer come get me. This isn't going to go away over night Paige, but we'll get you through it together."

"Together?"

"I'm not going anywhere, so unless you are, yes together." Paige laid down on the floor with her head in Emily's lap. Paige's breathing was starting to even out, but her hands were shaking slightly, a telling sign that she was still struggling. Emily held Paige's hand in hers and the two of them sat there in silence for about ten minutes before Paige broke the silence.

"I should call the doctor, tell her what happened."

"Already did on my way here, she'll see you in an hour."

"I love you." Paige sat up and kissed Emily before sitting next to her again.

"I love you too. Want me to come with you to see her?"

"No, stay with the girls and I can meet you at the mall after my appointment."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. Now I'm going to shower before I leave so unless you want to join me…" Paige smiled and Emily laughed. "I don't think my friends and their moms want to hear us going at it in the shower, do you?" Emily stood up and helped Paige to her feet. She gave her another kiss before opening the door and walking back into the hallway. She walked back downstairs where the girls were sitting round the table eating while Ella and Ashley sat at the counter.

"She alright?" Spencer asked, trying to swallow a mouth full of food. Emily nodded as she poured coffee into a mug for herself.

"She's fine now, she is taking a shower before she heads to a doctor appointment, if that's alright?" She looked to Ashley as if to ask permission.

"Of course its alright, here let me give you a clean towel to bring up to her." Ashley walked over the linen closest and Emily followed her. Ashley grabbed the towel out of the closet and handed it to Emily before quietly asking, "so you are going to tell me what happened and why you grabbed all the sharp things out of the bathroom or are you going to make me guess?" Emily looked torn: they were staying in Ashley's house and she has every right to know what happened, but Emily wasn't sure it was her place to say anything.

"Ok, let's make this easy so that you don't have to spill your girlfriend's secrets and break the lovers code of secrecy. Is Paige ok?"

"Now she is yes."

"That doctor's appointment is a psychiatrist isn't it?"

"Yes."

"At least she is getting help for whatever it is you aren't telling me is wrong." Ashley smiled and started to walk away but Emily pulled her back. "She wasn't going to do anything with the razors, I just took them out because…" Emily wasn't sure how to phrase what she had to say.

"Because while she didn't do anything with them today, there was a time in her life where she would have?" Emily nodded her head and Ashley offered her a sad smile.

"I'm not going to judge her Emily. We all have things in our pasts we wish we could take back, but she moved past them and has help now and she has you. I'm just glad she's doing better, the two of you have been through a lot of trauma."

"We'll get through it, just like we always do. Thanks for the towel." Emily took of upstairs leaving Ashley Marin to silently wish that her daughter's best friend wasn't so used to being hurt and hoping that the rest of their senior year would go smoothly.

**I know it's not my best work, but I wanted to get this idea out there before I lost it, so there you have it folks, love it or leave it. Side note: next week should be very interesting on PLL, can't wait.**


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